-One of The Vancome Lady's scarcastic remarks
The Vancome Lady was on the very first episode of Mad TV, portrayed by Nicole Sullivan. She is a mean-spirited, emotionally abusive woman who follows most racial sterotypes, and receives enjoyment out of insulting others. The Vancome Lady first appeared in Vancome Lady: Cosmetics Clerk. Later she's seen poking fun at many different stereotypes. She is also seen making several sexual remarks about different men she's near. Having no empathy or conscience, she doesn't care if she insults children or people who's feelings are hurt or are offended. She also tends to spitefully cause trauma at the end of many skits to others' expense.
"Why don't you make like Koby and force your way through the back door!"
"Honey, you're so gay, you crap rainbow colored gerbils!"
"See we here at Vancome, we don't specialize in blacks."
""Okay, ma'am, ma'am we speak English here at Vancome!"
"Of course I'm scared of getting hurt...why did you think I got rid of the black guy!"
"I don't think this is gonna work out. You see, Santa doesn't like people who are Jewish! And ya know why? Because your people killed Jesus!"
"...it's just like Santa doesn't like kids who are husky!"
"Santa only has a few rules, but one of them is that he doesn't speak to the homeless! You see, homeless means no home;no home means no fireplace;no fireplace means no chimney; no chimney means no Santa"
"Was I talking to the old maid from the loans department?"
"Okay grandma, you're not going to live much longer, so I don't see what you're so concerned about!"