Dr. Kylie Johnson JD MD is a doctor and attorney with various specialties, including hematology, cardiology, gynecology, and tattoo removal. She attended Harvard Medical School and Stanford University. She wears belly-shirts, decorates her things with fun fur, and plays practical jokes on her patients. In one skit, she pretended her patient gave birth to a small red teddy bear. In another, she came in with an empty squirt gun. Dr. Kylie seems like she doesn't take her job seriously, but she is a medical genius, and the most respected doctor in the clinic. Some of her antics include pretending there's an escalator behind a curtain, comparing a man's sperm to an old photo of N'sync, and pretending to record a dating service video.
- Dr. Kylie: [Holding squirt gun] Freeze or I'll squirt!
- Dr. Kylie: Oh my God!
- Patient: What? Is the baby okay?
- Dr. Kylie: I forgot to tape Sex and the City!
- Dr. Kylie: Oh My God!!
- Patient: What?
- Dr. Kylie: You've already had it! [holds up teddy bear] Oh Noo!
- Dr. Kylie: Okay, and here's your sperm.
- Todd: That's just an old photo of N'sync!
- Dr. Kylie: Exactly. And your sperm are just as tired and there's only five of them.
- Dr. Kylie: Look who's here! [Puts on puppet] Who are you? [lowers her voice] I'm a cowboy and I'm here to round up the steer.