Coach Sandoval Hines (Keegan-Michael Key) is a hypocritical, short-tempered, energetic, gum-chewing high school coach who works at a Catholic school and is the main protagonist of the sketches.
Summary[]
He is the quintessential stereotype of a high school gym teacher. He easily becomes upset by disruptive behavior from students during school events and threatens to kill and injure them in response, but ironically, is far more disruptive than the students he threatens. Principal Lankenstein (Ike Barinholtz) seems to dislike Hines for disrupting his speeches during school events and they end up fighting at the end of some sketches. He and Lankenstein are arch-rivals, as well as enemies. It is also implied that Hines had a troubled or neglectful childhood. He is also known for kicking his leg high in the air. Hines' comedic foils have included students like Joseph Yamanashi (Bobby Lee), Jeff DeShazer (Ike Barinholtz), Tommy Hackenjos (Frank Caeti), LePrince (Jordan Peele), Caraco (Matt Braunger), Darnell (Eric Price), and Morales (Johnny Sanchez).
His catchphrases are "Stop it or I'll set you on fire!", "I will stab you in the neck with a pencil!", and "Whaddaya laughin' at, Yamanashi?!". Numerous sketches involve a nun punching him out at the end. On the last episode of MADtv, it was revealed that he is actually an heir of the Heinz Ketchup fortune, but just decided to spell his last name differently so he could pose as a high school coach and inspire someone to do the right thing. Before leaving, he warns Yamanashi that he is going to be watching him on his close circuit family spy satellite and he will send the Heinz family cyborg to cut his body in half with the edge of one of his diamond cufflinks if Yamanashi messes up.
Trivia[]
- In the 2018 Predator movie, Keegan-Michael Key stars in the role of a mentally unstable ex-soldier named Coyle, when discussing the existence of aliens and another character suggests religious reasons; Coyle responds with "If you don't stop this bible shit, I'm going to set you on fire," an homage to the actor's earlier role of Coach Hines.
Road Trip[]
Assembly[]
Career Day[]
Cast of Oliver Twist[]
Confessional[]
Game Time[]
Ice Cream[]
Links to all videos (sorry, I couldn't upload them directly to the site because the files are too large, but you may want to download incase they're deleted):
Away Game: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1z-WJjQCiMo0IsFF-UWlTsq2z-_-Roext/view?usp=sharing
Career Hell: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EifnY2V3lp6vQkDffEUxxWVo4OsWWQSK/view?usp=sharing
Church part 1: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jyTLAJv-tAvRf39tH0UjHy8LZou381Ca/view?usp=sharing
Church Part 2: https://drive.google.com/file/d/131ynpwl4y3x_doHT8JpN4tf7Td0AbiO-/view?usp=sharing
Church blooper: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YnYttoEyrp2R2kad-n_q1mkDrKw0qmln/view?usp=sharing
Football: https://drive.google.com/file/d/131ynpwl4y3x_doHT8JpN4tf7Td0AbiO-/view?usp=sharing
Final episode: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1empcyBBQmzjgFYvFYQkP_jgd0tGXOyMJ/view?usp=sharing
Game Time: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fNXKdN4KmjGo2bQjGPUQJS6zJWQviFQJ/view?usp=sharing
Ice Cream Shop: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HMzN-7itchlv4l9rQxhd0KOqlELAtWrt/view?usp=sharing
Oliver Rant: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IaFDMs5DBP-urPC-FgxZC5FY_d24lZGH/view?usp=sharing
Paintball Massacre: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XNoz2OKBFBX3QpAs2nbmYOgMR6OkRTts/view?usp=sharing
Prom Night: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mUsN9cM3fDmNaP6vO1oJl32ZBOeSRZNQ/view?usp=sharing
Q&A: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iUWE5aA6-H9H34nOKG_VFD2TYL-lhDt9/view?usp=sharing
Saturday Detention: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fsJobO5sV4oa4sBoP64Zl1cL2WJQQDm5/view?usp=sharing
Steroid Bust: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-YnNKTW7pAvNMUKMf2kaM4XsdImbLBkD/view?usp=sharing
The Assembly: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hmLoWeeoXf2ZpKlFmJOsvcrZAh-PInel/view?usp=sharing
The Memorial: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kSlkYpcfcEbJ-SRRX-7Hr4GdWWb9Npqo/view?usp=sharing
Coach Hines was given a website dedicated entirely to his rants at the now defunct coachhinesrants.com. The site featured the football rant, the school bus rant, the Oliver rant, the juicin' rant, and the ice cream rant.